‘You’re smart, Intelligent, beautiful,’ is sometimes what I get
from people. Kindly, don’t take it as if I am trying to sound self-declared but
this does actually happen, even to you. Humbling is the effect I get, because
then it means, there are people who take the time to see the good in me. It’s
amazing, to say the least, and I am sure you do reckon with me.
Compliments effects augur differently with people. Some will
take in compliments and move on while others ‘take it to the head’. When I say,
‘take it to the head’ I actually mean, literally swallowing the compliments and
letting your blood pump them up to your brain in turn changing the entire
mental operation making you an intolerant, big-headed creature. Sounds technical-ish,
but I am just telling it as it is.
Today I was having a rather exciting day. It was one of
those days I woke up with a smile and don’t even know why. On such a day, I ensure
that I wake up immediately and not try to snooze my alarm, because there is a
chance I might lose the smile. I possibly can’t trade a whole day of excitement
with a fifteen minute sleep. Additionally, when I wake up with a smile I don’t
question it because then it means I will overthink it and ruin my chance of
having a brilliant day.
As I was getting on with my office work something took me
aback. I began reflecting about my mum. The last time I talked to her was two
days ago which of course has nothing to do with mother-daughter occasional arguments.
I believe we’ve both been busy, but I’ll give her a shout out before the day
ends.
I realized that I should always be appreciative of my mum when
someone compliments me, because without her, people would have nothing to comment
about. She modelled Beth and all she is about. In fact I think, if anyone has
something good to say about my attributes they should probably look for my
mother’s number and compliment her instead. Next time someone says something
good about me, I should probably halla
mum and make them talk to her.(Hahaha,I am kidding)
I come from a single parent immediate lineage. My
grandfather died in 1978 and my grandmother took up the responsibility of
raising 7 children on her own. I too lost my father in 2008 and it’s been my
mum for the past 6 years. However things got tough for my grandmother working
as a peasant farmer, she managed to see my mother through school. Today, she
stands proud as an established banker who’s able to support and educate all her
children independently.
Other people have made it to her level through the support
of both parents and I am sure it puzzles people on discovering mum comes from a
single parent family. When I was younger, my mum would push me to the limits to
comprehend even just a simple math problem. It was annoying and I hated her
then, but now when I look at her, I secretly smile. She gave me tough love and
in my adulthood is when I realize why she had to do what she did. I would watch her leave for work in the light-pink
light of dawn and manoeuvre through life’s challenges as though it was another
walk on the park but never did it strike me that all the hard work, commitment and
zeal was for me.22 years down the line, I still wonder if I can be half the
woman she’s been in my life.
I staunchly believed in my mum’s strength when my dad succumbed.
Before his demise, I would have the ‘What-if’ talks with my friends at
school. On one specific day, I was asked about what my reaction would be if I lost
my dad. I remember faintly answering that I would die and possibly wouldn’t
live without him. At some point, the talk became extremely emotional and I urged
everyone not to continue with the discussion. Ironically when I learnt of his
passing exactly a year after that talk, a significant part of my heart felt
safe though I was going through a heart-rending situation. My soul kept humming
‘with mum everything is going to be okay.’ This of course tells you that I knew
she was going to be strong for us all.
Six years later I watch our tight knit family and feel an
aura of happiness. My mother picked up every broken piece and connected it so
that, ‘we’ her children would not feel as thou there’s was a void. It’s an
exemplary job she has done.
We say ‘When you educate a woman, you educate an entire
nation,’ but I believe it’s a statement people hardly take the time to marinate
on. Truth is, a woman will never watch her children stray if she has the
ability to educate them. She would rather sell her soul to the devil but give
her young ones the best. This may not apply to every mother but a great
percentage possesses this character.
Working with women living in poverty and exclusion has made
me realise the power women are endowed with. When interviewed, they mostly say
that if they had the power, they would ensure their children get the best education.
Remarkably, when these women make a few coins, they divert it all to their
children. Mark you; this is a woman who has never been to any kind of school.
As I get to this place in my piece, I suddenly feel guilty
for taking in the compliments which I now strongly feel should belong to my
mother. However, I am sure she would be glad to watch people compliment that
which she nurtured with love and hard work. Even better, see me acknowledge
what she instilled in me.
Love You Mum
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