LOOKS INDEED, ARE DECEIVING

He was never my ideal guy. How could he possibly stand a chance when he didn’t possess any qualities from my long future-husband list? Everything about him bellowed ‘I am not Beth’s type.’ You must be wondering ‘who is my type of jamaa?’ especially since I seem to have such an exclusive taste.

FUTURE  HUSBAND QUALITIES[LAST EDITED JANUARY 2013]

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

·         Tall

I am 4’7 hence I need a taller man. He shouldn’t have a basketball kind of height but tall enough to complement my height. Makes sense right?

·         Handsome

My kind of handsome is simple. As long as I can’t stop staring at you, you can nail the            jackpot.

·         Perfect Dentition

I love a neat and well-arranged dentition. Oh! Colour too, should obviously be stainless white.

·         Dark

Light skinned may be the right skin but is not my ‘IT’ skin.  Chocolate to fairly dark skin works best for me.

·         No Tattoos or piercings

I don’t stereotype but I highly think tattoos belong to bad boys. Who wants to fall in a bad boy trap anyway?

·         Appropriate dressing

Thou shall dress in simple stylish attire. No theatrical or attention seeking clothes.

PERSONALITY ATTRIBUTES

·         Funny

I need not explain this. Every woman wants a man with a good sense of humour.

·         Laid back

I love quiet and mysterious. Am talkative hence I prefer my opposite.

·         Hardworking

A man willing to go over and beyond to have a successful life.

·         Patient

I am smitten by men who think before acting. Additionally, I can be stubborn so I need someone who romantically supresses that side of me.

·         Perfect Listener

I love talking; when you talk you need to be heard.

·         Generous

I hate stingy. Stingy is next to stinky.

·         Faithful

Thou shall not CHEAT!! Thank you.!

·         Humble

I hate show offs.

·         Sociable

You don’t have to talk to everyone, but at least be able to co-exist.

·         Hopeless Romantic

Spontaneous dates, frequent complimenting words and gifts should come in handy.

Kindly note that, I dismissed him from his physical qualities .After all, I was taught in school that first impressions last longest. I am a staunch believer that someone’s physicality portrays a lot about their personality. Whoever taught me all these thou, forgot to highlight that in relationships it’s a totally different ball game.

It was exactly 9 months after my last break-up but my wounds were still fresh. I had never taken this long to move on, it had started to seem like I was permanently indented to my past.  Never had I seen it coming, for reasons I don’t understand to date. Before you dismiss me, remember that no one is ever prepared for a grenade attack.

It’s 15^th January, a fortnight since the semester began. Learning activities had not yet commenced, hence a lot of bumming. I was officially a 2^nd year,’ thank God freshman year was up.’ Securing a hostel was rather difficult as opposed to freshman year where the school ensured that we all had a room. With no hope of securing a good hostel, my two girlfriends and I opted to put up in a 6 persons room. Privacy and personal space was out of the equation.

Albeit these challenges, I found the experience to be such a huge relief since I needed to unload and have new beginnings. During one of our after class evening walks, the girls and I came across, an average height, chocolate complexion, short haired gentleman. My girlfriend Moh recognised him and they had a small exchange.

‘That’s the guy I was telling you about’ Moh said. Stacey and I quickly recalled a story Moh had told us about a new friend she had made who had tattoos and an eyebrow piercing. He was handsome but was ‘not beth’s taste’.  ‘Who would date such a jamaa?’ I rhetorically asked. ‘Looks can be deceiving’ Moh uttered.’ Does she even know what she’s talking about. That guy is ‘OFF’ .Period!’ my conscience whispered.

No sooner had I began lazying around than learning sessions began. The schedules were so tight; I had started wishing I would go back to freshman year. Freshman year is‘stress free,’ no compelling schedules. If I had a choice, I would re-live the experience every year.

One afternoon while walking back to my hostel, I came across the young man we bumped into. I was lost in the oblivion of the music from my earphones when he suddenly stopped right in front of me.

‘Are you kidding me right now? Who does that?’ I angrily thought to myself. ‘Hi. I am Kenneth, what about you?’ he asked. ‘I hope he’s not trying to hit on me.’ ‘I am Beth’ I answered. ‘I have been seen you around and was hoping we could be friends’ he added. ‘Take a look at yourself then look at me and ask yourself if we can ever be friends’ my rude mind kept thinking ‘Sure, we can be friends ‘I quickly answered.

‘You are so lame. How dare you answer him that fast’ little Beth kept whispering. I didn't pay much attention to that conversation, but for some reason I couldn't stop glowing. ‘Someone is excited’ Moh said. ‘I am not, I guess it’s just been a good day. Can’t a lady smile?’ I retaliated. ‘You lousy liar, you can lie to the whole world if you so wish, but not to yourself. We both know Kenneth made you smile’

I loathe logging onto my facebook account but that day, I did, worse still, checked my inbox messages, something else I rarely do. ‘Hope you got to your hostel safe’ Kenneth had texted. ‘Yes’ little Beth would not help but dance. Before I realized it, I had already warmed up to him. How else would I explain, a sudden addiction towards my facebook inbox.

He was funny, charming, humble, laid back. For a moment I thought I was in a state of trance. How could such a rough looking guy have everything I wanted? ’Maybe it’s time you opened up to your girlfriends’ I thought .It was time to source for spiritual intervention from my pseudo therapists.

‘Moh, guess what, I have been in constant communication with that guy you told us about an…..’I said. Fingers crossed I hoped she would not blabber any sort of critism. It was one of those moments I needed to hear ‘GO GIRL!’ ‘Wait, in constant communication with whom?’Moh asked. ‘Kenneth, the tattooed guy ‘I added.  ‘And behold the queen of he’s-not-my-type lets her guard down’ Moh added. ‘Moh stop it, nobody said I am dating him’ I defended. Clearly I wasn't getting away from some friendly emotional harassment.

You begin to look at life differently the second someone sweeps you off your feet. It was not long before Kenneth and I went on our first official date. One thing led to another, and all I know now is that I have been happily tied down for an year and 10 months. A woman has the power to shape a man just the way she wants him to be. I can proudly declare that I have been that lady. He no longer has the piercings but of course we can’t scrap out the tattoos.  Looks have nothing on an alluring heart. Never over-think it, simply take a leap of faith and go for it. After all, a man is not defined by his looks but in his integrity and his ability to affect the ones around him positively.